I wanted to start blogging so I could release my feelings instead of continuing to hold them in.  The one person I am with all the time doesn't care to listen to anything I have to say.  I will be talking to him and somewhere in the midst of my conversation he'll ask me something that doesn't have anything to do with what I am talking about or he'll start talking about something else, a complete new conversation without any regard to what I have said, finished or not.

I need a place to let things out, to sort them out and to organize my feelings.  And yes, to sometimes feel sorry for myself.  I dream of things being different then they are right now, I dream of my future and what I want.  I know what I don't want, I don't want to be in debt like I am right now, it really sucks and it sucks that I feel like I am the only one who takes it as serious as I do.  Maybe I just worry overmuch though?  I don't know.  I just don't know.

Was thinking if Colorado is nice place to live?

Murder Suicide Webb Street

6/30/14
2/2:30ish

For the past couple of hours I have had a feeling of nausea, like when your upset from fighting and arguing w/ someone, stomach is all tied up in knotts.

Pictures have been  running through my mind of a couple fighting.  It seems like a male and a female and then it kinda feels like like two females.  I see a man pulling her by her hair down a hallway, she's kicking and screaming.

I want to call Tif, no don't call her, she's ok.  Maybe she's not.  I wouldn't have these feelings if it was about her.

a punch or slap in the face and mid-section.   Mean things are being said and crying, she is crying and scared and angry.

Then it stopped (2/2:30ish)

A little after 4, Tif called me to tell of the murder suicide in Windsor Locks that happened earlier today on Webb St.  .